Toni Basil Wishes You a Happy Post-Thanksgiving

I said before that if I was living in any cartoon universe I'd like it to be that of Betty Boop. Well, if I could visit any music video universe I think it would be fun to visit that of Toni Basil. The only thing is that I know I couldn't hack it. They're wildly energetic; everything's moving all the time. Toni lives in a void surrounded by theater props and her multi-racial troupe of dancers. So cool!
Until tonight I only knew about "Mickey," her super-hit. I didn't know that, like the Obama family, Toni Basil was a pixie made out of pure joy.
My favorite videos:

You Got a Problem:
A Devo cover. Holy fucking shit.



Shopping From A-Z:
Dig how they call out all the groceries ("F: fish!") and for "X" they just yell "Nothing!"



Be Stiff:
Another Devo cover. Imagine if this was your band at prom. You wouldn't know what to do. Plus they'd out-dance you and you'd just stop trying.



The Night:
In 1990 Toni Basil was in a movie called Rockula about... well I don't know. The whole movie's on youtube, but I don't think I can bring myself to watch it.
This scene not only looks like it was awkwardly shoehorned into the flick, but it features: a guy in chainmail licking his lips and scratching with a victrola; Toni doing a really awkward rap; the actors trying to act with nothing to do; a golden piano. Oh, and the song's awesome.



Extra credit - videos not embedded here to save space:
Street Beat: I don't know what to say about this. It's over the top.
Street Life: Not to be confused with "Street Beat."

Tuning-Peg Carrot vs. Lumpy Sack: Election Megapost in Three Parts

Hey did you know you can leave me comments on my blog just using your AIM screen name? You don't even need a blog! There's no excuse not to love me!



In other news, did you hear? There's apparently an election today. Some black fella is running against a greased-up baby. Or is it the lovechild of an apple-head doll and Mr. Potatohead?



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Speaking of elevated political discourse...

When I was young my parents subscribed to Newsweek. When it came I always turned to the page that had three political cartoons on it. I read them because I liked cartoons not because I cared about politics or really understood them all the time. That I understood them at all is really a testament to the nature of political cartoons, not intelligence on my part; even an 8-year-old gets the basic message of, say, a man crushed under a thousand lb. weight labeled "taxes."

Political cartoons are often unfunny, unclever metaphors scrawled by some grumpy, old, sectarian fuck who only goes outside his house to drop off his latest ravings at a publication. Despite (or because of) this, I really enjoy them. At their best they are funny and at their worst they are much funnier.

To catch up on the latest political cartoons I usually head over to Slate Magazine's website, where they're compiled in a little unwieldy ghetto of a page by subject. You can troll through the issues, scoffing at the bad cartoons from the far right, feeling vindicated by the also-bad cartoons from the far left and scratching your head at the cartoons from other countries.

Some of my latest favorites:




This representation of Palin is just mind-blowingly bad. Jesus Christ, Gary Markstein, have you ever seen the woman? You didn't even get the hair right!



Speaking of bizarre Palin drawings, what happened to her face in this Irish cartoon? She's like some malevolent ape. Which might explain the bone in her hair.



Heinous.



By contrast, this guy makes most political cartoonists look like Michelangelo. He's turned these three recognizable men into bizarre simplifications of themselves. Barack Obama is a carrot with tuning pegs for ears. John McCain is a lumpy sack. George Bush is a... butterfly on a stick? Or, like, an angel for the top of a Christmas tree without a head...? Or...?



This one is not only unfunny, but it also telegraphs pretty clearly that Joel Pett is some kind of self-loathing racist who thinks that his inner conflict is common within the reading public. It really says nothing about politics but volumes about it's artist. Sad volumes.

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But maybe the most baffling to me are the Obama-alarmist cartoons. I understand disagreeing with the man, but surely he can't be as scary as these cartoons make him out... or is he?


Subtle.


He's really malevolent when you take his head off.


I like how, here, McCain looks like Joe Everyman while Obama is like the Nightmare King of Black Supremacy.


"Hey, I'm Gary Varvel! I can do caricatures! Available for birthday parties and street fairs! What, you don't want to leaf through my portfolio?? What about just one cartoon?"


In case you missed it, Obama is Stalin, the devil is a liberal and Batman is George Bush.


Just like Obama, always playing the race card.


Obama's not just Stalin, he's also Dr. Moreau.



It just goes on and on doesn't it? Don't forget to vote!

Let's All Sing Like the Birdies Sing

Yesterday I got hit with an egg walking to Lavery's pub. That must mean it's....
Halloween in Belfast!

Or, I guess, the night before Halloween. Since everyone goes home on the weekends here Friday-Sunday are dead and Monday-Thursday are wild. Plus everyone drives on the wrong side of the road all the time.
So last night was effectively Halloween, since no one will be around tonight. I was probably hit with the egg because I wasn't wearing a costume. Or because people were being wankers (the egg didn't break 'til it hit the ground, though, so no harm done). I got accosted by drunken ghosts, cowboys, Storm Troopers (the Stars Wars kind, not the Nazi kind) and lots and lots of cavemen. Y'know, if you can't pull the caveman costume off, it really turns against you. Also, have you ever seen a group of guys in mariachi outfits talking with Irish accents? It's really disconcerting.

In celebration of this, the day belonging to our Dark Lord and Master... two of my favorite Halloween cartoons!



Betty Boop's Halloween Party: If I could live in any cartoon world it would be Betty Boop's. I really like how everybody is constantly bopping along to some beat. In this cartoon, Betty holds a Halloween party, leads her guests in the traditional Halloween song, "Let's All Sing Like the Birdies Sing" before her party is crashed by... the Halloween Ape or something.



Disney's Skeleton Dance: This cartoon upholds various animal myths, like the fact that the cat's tail is connected internally to it's nose and can be played like an cello if stretched; or that you can pluck a bird's feathers by throwing your detached head at it. Also, skeletons ride each other like pogo sticks, play each other like xylophones (while pelvic thrusting!) and ultimately merge into a quadruple-skeleton-horse. I love this cartoon!