Now that I'm back at Bennington it feels funny to write here because most of the people who read it already know what I'm doing daily as much as I do. It's like writing about being an amoeba for the amoebas you share a petri dish with.
What's new:
I had a birthday party. I'm now officially 22 and I feel younger than ever. I'm pretty sure I'll feel the same way once my body starts to fail. No wonder old people are prone to depression. Growing up you get used to a constant personal sea change as you grow - each year you feel pretty distinctly different than the year before. But, it seems, once you hit 21 you sort of just go "So this is it? What's left?" All the fun parts of growing old are behind me. It's depressing to be in the middle of the prime of my youth knowing that for the rest of my life I'll just be fighting fat and wrinkles. It makes me wish our culture revered age and wisdom as much as we do youth. Where's my cane? Youth is wasted on the young! I used to be like you kids! What's a tanned, taught body to experience and worldliness? I need a drink.
But my party was fun. It got to the point I had wanted but dared not hope for - there was no room to walk and you had to just stay where you were standing. That's the sign of a successful party in the Barnes houses. Third Street represent! My glorified closet was decked out pretty well, too. Nice wedding lights and a portrait of Jesus staring down. This was, of course, not just to look festive, but because the Bow's traditionally offer our bodies into spiritual wedlock with Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ on our 22nd birthdays in the hopes that we will be blessed with carrying the next Christ child. It didn't work for my mom so the burden's all on these here shoulders.
What the hell am I talking about? How's your side of the petri dish?
Annnnyways, the white russians flowed like water and the presents and tchotchkes ran to my open arms. Among them, $100 for amazon.com from my mom. I took the opportunity to buy some CDs I've been wanting like Self's amazing Gizmodgery (which I've had off SoulSeek for years now, but always wanted to make it legal, kind of like my love for Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has now been formalized), TVOTR's Dear Science, Beck's latest (I'm hoping for OK and prepared for the worst after the terrible concert I saw last summer), Low's Drums and Guns, QOTSA's Lullabies to Paralyze (same deal as Gizmodgery - a fucking fantastic album), Coldplay's Prospekts March (because I've completely embraced my love of their blandness), Hatfield and the North's The Rotters Club and Susanna and the Magical Orchestra's List of Lights and Buoys.
Pretty good for $100, I think. I've been listening to Soundgarden's Down on the Upside a lot over the last couple of days. I got Superunknown when I was really young and it has engrained itself in me a long time ago - so much so that I can't really listen to it anymore because it's so familiar - but I didn't get Upside until college. Kind of like Alice in Chains, Soundgarden albums sort of sound heavily samey on first listen, I think, but after time the intricacies open themselves up. And really Kim Thayil is one of the greatest rock guitarists of all time, Ben Shepherd is amazing and Chris Cornell generated enough goodwill from Soungarden to make me forgive Audioslave - just because he can't sing a song without wailing for the rafters doesn't mean he can't wail with the best of them.
The B-side of Down on the Upside is a little spotty and, to me, never really rises above "pretty good," but the A-Side is outstanding, from "Pretty Noose" to "Never Named;" it's flawless as far as I'm concerned.
Blah blah blah. While I'm wanking about music, here's a couple of the songs that have me the most excited about my amazon purchase:
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